Pretty Lynne Writes

It’s been a little while since I’ve been kissed. It’s been longer since I’ve been kissed well. 

My first kiss was at summer camp when I was 12. A boy named Mark told me he liked me and kissed me on the lips at the mid-week dance. I was thrilled and enthralled by Mark, and of course I avoided him for the rest of the week and never spoke to him again. 

When you think back in your history, do you have a kiss that is particularly memorable? A kiss that stays with you even now? A kiss you think of wistfully, longingly? What was it like?

My parents, who were married for 57 years, told a story of “the kiss” that sealed the deal for them. They had been on and off again as they went to school in different places, but one night they were at a grubby bar. It was the kind of place where they left plates of crackers and cheese wrapped in plastic cling wrap on the tables, because the law said that bars had to serve food. No one ate the crackers and cheese. 

Anyway, they found themselves somehow in a dark hallway, maybe on the way back from the bathrooms, and had “the kiss.” They described it as a kind of magnetic force that brought them together, and that it felt like lightning had struck them. It wasn’t their first kiss, but it was the one that convinced them they were right to stick it out together. 

There is a kiss that comes to mind for me. We weren’t meant for each other, but the attraction between us was undeniable. We had just a couple of minutes alone. He looked at his watch, considered for a moment, and walked over to me and kissed me. I finally realized why people described their knees going weak after a good kiss. 

What was it about that kiss? It felt wholly intentional and purposeful. I was being kissed for kissing’s sake. There was no expectation involved with this kiss. It wasn’t going to lead to sex or even making out. It was exactly the right pressure and opening of mouths and tongue. He placed his hand on my cheek in a way that made me feel delicate and special. It was communication. It told me I was wanted, adored, desired. It surprised me and riveted me and I thought about it for hours afterwards and then days, and now sometimes even many years later. 

Kissing is such an act of chemistry. One wrong move and it feels all wrong. And you have to learn about the person you are kissing; do they tilt their head to the left? Are their lips wet enough, soft enough? Are yours? How quickly do they open their mouth to you? Do they like to be touched on the face or held around the neck or brought close to your body? How much pressure do they like?

These aren’t questions you ask. You just…figure it out, I suppose, by sensing what your partner responds to. The little sounds, the quickening of the breath, and pulling closer, the tentative touches of the tongue – all of the clues that a kiss is going well. 

The last man who kissed me put his tongue between my upper gum and lip and moved it around, hard. He was clearly not paying attention to my head pulling away from him in discomfort. I share this with you to point out that not all of us have the skill of reading the kiss. 

My favourite voice artist, Anonyfun35, has a short audio about kissing someone from work on whom he has a crush. In it, he imagines stepping up to her, putting his hands at her waist, and pulling her closer to him, gently bringing his lips to hers, and eventually deepening the kiss. It’s a lovely and heartfelt audio and so innocent in some ways. He wants to kiss her just for the sheer joy of connecting with her. 

In my writing, I have often described the kiss between two characters as “exactly right.”  I suppose I am relying on my readers to fill in what their “exactly right” kiss feels like. It’s connection, and sensation, and emotion, and it’s unique to every couple and relationship and situation. It’s magic, really. 

It doesn’t happen often, but I like to think about my own “exactly right” kiss from time to time. 

I hope I get to feel that way again. I hope you do, too.