life

  • Who Am I?

    A little while ago, I wrote an impassioned post about making smutty content as long as I wanted to, no matter how old I get. I’ll do it as long as it serves me, I said boldly.  Welp.  I love to write, but lately the motivation to make things has been lacking. I’m going through…

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  • Angry

    I’m so fucking angry.  It has taken some time for me to get to this place and now that it’s happening, I don’t like it. It feels like it’s not going to stop. It feels like a wave of fury that is going to knock me off my feet and roil me around in its…

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  • Father Figure

    This is the first year of my adult life when I don’t find myself uncomfortable, standing in front of the Father’s Day cards, trying to find one that feels authentic.  Dad, you taught me everything I needed to know… Nope. Dad opted out of teaching me about money, for example, because he said I didn’t…

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  • Your Red Rubber Ball

    The world will wear you down.  It will teach you that you’re not smart enough, not pretty enough, not the right skin colour, not the right gender or sexuality, not good enough at your job. It will teach you that you should do your laundry differently, grow grass in your front yard, wear the right…

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  • The Walmart Cure

    Caution: This is a Vulnerable Post If you’ve read enough of my blog you’ll figure out that I am single after a long relationship. Twenty-eight years long, as a matter of fact. We lived together for most of my adult life.  Living on my own has been a wonderful experience in some ways. I am…

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  • This Must Be The Place

    I’ve been thinking about places. I’ve been thinking about how places hold memories of sense and feeling.  There was a big old maple tree behind my childhood home, part of an abandoned farm. The ghost of a barn lay crumbling there, along with the rusty skeleton of an old VW bug. I was afraid to…

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  • Bloom

    Back in January, a friend of mine reminded our social media community of the concept of a word for the year, and I decided to choose “bloom.” To bloom is to come to life after sleeping, hibernating, resting. Blooming is the culmination of growth, the flowering a powerful display of the plant’s beauty and power.…

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  • New Year, Old Me

    The temptation to remake myself every new year is strong. I love the idea of fresh starts. New notebooks, a fresh stack of paper, a new pen, a clean slate. Leave who you are in the old year and begin again. Be whoever you wish you could be. Fix whatever is wrong with you.  But…

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  • Death, Like a Door

    CW: death My dad died today.  If it seems weird to you that I’d be writing a blog post, well, it is, a little. But writing has always been the way I process things, so I’m doing that now.  My dad lived a long life and the last few years were not great for him.…

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  • Tend Your Garden

    There are days when my garden is sunny and green. The flowers in the corner are bright pink; I planted them there the first time I had something published and people called me a writer. Some sunflowers in the side yard by the fence are a compliment someone paid me about my sunny personality. The…

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