Having a persona that creates sexy material is fun. It just is.
It’s a chance to play and explore and take risks that my [real name] self can’t do as easily. Pretty Lynne can flirt, joke around, talk openly about sex, and express a part of my personality that is developing and changing at this stage in my life.
We all play different roles in different parts of our lives. We all have parts of ourselves that we keep quiet or secret from others.
The tricky part is that sometimes, I want to talk about my smutty friends, and their hilarious and touching creations and selves and insights. My life is so much richer for having met all of these people on the internet. We’ve shared our stories and laughed together, and even cried together. They’ve given me guidance when I’ve needed it, and I have felt their love from far away. I hope I’ve done the same for them.
And sometimes, I want to talk about my stories and the recordings I’ve done. I want to share the amazing art people have created for them, and talk about the responses I’ve had to my work. I get so much pleasure from writing and recording, and it has become a big part of my life.
Every once and a while I’ll share a little piece of this side of me with someone from my [real name] life.
Last week, I was desperately short on sleep and was complaining to a coworker about how tired I was. She noted that I am often tired, and wondered what was keeping me up. This is a person I trust, and have shared things with in the past, so on the spur of the moment I decided to tell her about my “hobby.”
“I am a sort of content creator,” I said. “I write stories and make recordings of them.”
“Oh, cool!” she said, smiling at me, clearly interested.
“I write erotica,” I continued, and her face changed. I wondered instantly if I’d made a mistake.
“You?” she asked. “You write erotica? But you seem so…” I raised my eyebrows at her.
“It’s just hard to picture,” she said.
And that’s the problem with telling someone about my secret life. I have to wonder if their face will change as they digest this new information about me.
I know many of us in the community have had, or anticipate having, this same experience if they are open about their smutty activities. Will people think differently of them? Will people judge them?
Should it be this way?
No, of course it shouldn’t. We should be able to talk about sex, share sexy art, and talk about enjoying sex. We should be able to discuss enjoying sexy writing and audio and video without shame or fear of reprisal from our employers. Sex is a wonderful part of life, after all, and a big part of being human. It should be acceptable to talk about it. However, in a time where women’s choices are being threatened, women celebrating sex as a source of pleasure is an act of resistance.
Later on, I ran into my coworker. We were talking about something totally unrelated to my earlier, exhausted admission, and suddenly she started to laugh.
“I just can’t picture it,” she said. “I can’t see you the same way!”
“Be cool, Linda,” I said, with the slightest edge to my tone, and smiled.
Linda probably thought I meant that I wanted her to keep my secret. I am pretty sure she will.
What I really meant was that I hope she opens her mind to this new information about me [real name], and in turn gets a little curious about this big, wide world Pretty Lynne (and all smut-lovers and creators) inhabit.
Because it’s really fucking cool.
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