Musing

  • Perfect

    I’ve written and spoken a lot about my reasons for writing and recording, and how I try not to pay attention to the metrics involved to measure success for myself. I have managed to be satisfied with my creative journey, for the most part, so far.  Recently, I had an experience that really shook my…

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  • So Far Away

    I’ve recently returned from a trip to Europe, the first vacation I’ve taken alone in many years. I noticed some things on this trip. Some of these observations may be obvious to you, but some you may find helpful.  Happy travels, you badass.

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  • Objectify Me

    I’ve never been an object of true desire. Certainly men have admired how I look; they have commented on my breasts, my ass, my eyes. But I’ve never been wanted.  My first memory of being objectified was when I was 12. Walking home from school, a man at a construction site whistled at me and…

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  • When I was interviewed on a podcast a few months ago, the podcaster asked me “why do you write erotica? You could write about anything.”  He had been complimenting me on my writing. Erotica and erotic audio were new to him and he was surprised at the quality of work he had encountered (I think…

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  • At Sunset

    It has been a season of ups and downs for me. Tonight I was walking my dog through my vibrant neighbourhood. I walked by kids speaking Farsi; a group of women in lawn chairs on their driveway, drinking coolers and watching their kids play pickleball and blow bubbles in the street; a family of bikers,…

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  • Now Is The Time

    It was a weekend filled with a lot of emotions.  We learned a well known member of the VA community has died. We watched fires continue to burn threatening indigenous communities. We watched people being kidnapped by masked enforcement officers. We watched a nation protest a president who fashions himself a dictator. We learned of…

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  • Screenshots

    I should be writing something else right now, but my phone has prompted me to clean out my photos – noting that the number of screenshots is in the thousands – so I started to delete some things.  Doing so was like opening a time capsule of the last few years of my life. I…

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  • The Messy Middle

    She sits down with her coffee in the morning and makes a list. Weed garden, do dishes, get groceries, get your shit together, the list says. The list represents all of the things she will do when she is fully recovered.  When she tells you it has been a hard couple of years, she is…

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  • Let Everything Happen

    It’s a major tenet of Buddhism, as I understand it, that suffering is caused by resistance. Accept what is happening to and around you, and move in strength from there.  So often your brain tells you “No, it can’t be true that X is happening,” when in fact, X is very much happening. X is…

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  • Keeping Track

    I am a good girl.  That got your attention, didn’t it?  What I mean is that I always did what I was told – until I didn’t – and I tried my best to do whatever I was doing really, really well. A friend recently pointed out that my perfectionism is very evident (and here…

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