Pretty Lynne Writes

I am a good girl. 

That got your attention, didn’t it? 

What I mean is that I always did what I was told – until I didn’t – and I tried my best to do whatever I was doing really, really well. A friend recently pointed out that my perfectionism is very evident (and here I thought I was doing so well at being a chill girl). I also crave praise. 

I’ve given this perfectionism a lot of thought when I think about my writing and recording, specifically about the metrics that show I’m successful at what I do. 

On Reddit, your audios get upvotes to indicate people like them. My audios max out at 34 upvotes for a really popular one, and normally get between 12-15 upvotes per subreddit where I post. Sometimes the audios also receive some downvotes, and once recently I was downvoted to 0 for a while. Compare this to big creators who get hundreds of upvotes within hours. 

On Literotica, readers can rate your story out of 5 stars. A rating of over 4.5 stars from more than 10 reviews earns you a red H for “hot.” The typical pattern for my stories is that they begin highly rated, drop below 4 (as low as 3.5), and then make their way back up over time. I have a few stories (3 or 4) with a red H, but many of my stories lie tantalizingly close to that threshold at 4.40 and above. Compare this to other Lit writers who hold H scores on the majority of their work. 

Now, why does this matter?

You could say it doesn’t, really. I get a lot of amazing comments from readers and listeners about my work and I’m often very touched by how much people respond to the stories. I love it when they tell me about emotional experiences they have when reading or listening. 

I also have many listeners who really enjoy my voice and my style of delivery, and they let me know that. 

So, why is it the case that the numbers sometimes get to me?

You’ll have to take my word for it when I tell you that I did really well in school. And school trains us to measure our achievements in terms of concrete metrics like marks and letter and percentage grades. I got a lot of praise for the quality of my work and the grades I earned. 

School also trains us to look at our achievements relative to those of others. I had a math teacher who used to hand back tests from best score to worst score. More than once I got my test back last, and it was not a fun experience. 

But when it comes to creating, I have had to work to break my reliance on metrics and comparisons to know whether or not I’ve made a good thing. After all, everyone’s taste is different. What I like in my smut may be boring to you; what you like in your smut may be unappealing to me.

The fact of the matter is that if you rely on metrics to measure your success as a creator, it may break your sensitive, artistic heart. And if you rely on praise, where does that leave you if none is forthcoming?

When I was first getting started writing erotica, I asked a writer I admire an important question: “How do you know your stuff is good?”  The response was so freeing for me: “If you like it, it’s good.”

Extrapolate that to your whole life, if you will. If you like that outfit on you, it’s good. If you like that recipe you created, it’s good. If you like the music, it’s good. If you like the way you decorate your space, it’s good. If you like your body, it’s good. The judgment and metrics of others does not matter. 

If you’re a good girl, a perfectionist, an achiever, this very idea may be scary to you. But live in it for a while and it becomes freedom. Even if you have to remind yourself of its truth now and again.