Pretty Lynne Writes

You’ve only seen pieces of me, of course.

It’s sort of a convention for women in my smutty community to post pics of themselves on Wednesdays. It started out as a body positivity exercise, spearheaded by two amazing women who decided to encourage us to show ourselves to each other. What resulted was a weekly hyping up of each other’s bodies – in lingerie, naked, on a theme, just because – and it was transformative for many women. 

We didn’t do it for the men, to be clear, but eventually some of them figured out it was happening and started to show up each week to appreciate our offerings. Sometimes there are DMs that offend (more on that in a future post) but mostly the men are very respectful. 

On Bluesky, the convention is more about voice actors posting thirst traps. The Reddit community of scriptwriters, voice actors/artists and fans is about erotica or porn, after all. So it makes sense to draw your audience to you by posting sexy pics. 

Mine are tame in comparison to some, and I have thoughts about that. 

First of all, I do not judge women or men who post pics of their bodies for any reason. And I find myself appreciating all types of bodies and shapes in both men and women when they do. My friends in both places are truly lovely and beautiful. 

While I’ve benefited from posting photos of myself, I’m also very conscious of how curated my photos are compared to some others. You’ll never see certain parts of me. 

One reason for that is that I want to maintain my anonymity, so I don’t post pics of certain parts of me that could be identifiable. Another is that my employer has feelings about its employees posting sexy pictures of themselves. 

But, and this is the thing on my mind right now, I still don’t feel comfortable posting pics of the following;

• My squishy tummy, new to me in midlife
• My legs, which my grandma once compared to tree trunks
• My arms, which have also changed in the last couple of years (I used to love my arms)
• My hands, which are large and aged-looking   

Boy, this blog post is a bummer so far. But hang on. I’m going somewhere with it. 

When people comment on my photos, my tendency is to say to myself “yes, but they’ve only seen pieces of you, so it doesn’t count.” You can tell from the above list that the self-critical voice is still pretty loud in my head. I’ve watched other women learn to talk back to that voice, and admired their bravery in unlearning the messages we all got from our early years. I know it’s not a skill you gain overnight. 

I sometimes say I play a sex goddess on the internet. It’s a phrase that helps me maintain the separation between my online persona and my real-life person. My sex goddess persona feels confident and happy to show you pieces of her – her luscious breasts, her curves, her shoulders, and some of her hair – while the real-life person is often less so. 

Is the solution to show more? I could do that, and no doubt receive the praise that others have received and have benefited from. I have close friends who have seen more revealing photos of me and been very enthusiastic about them. I could easily find a subreddit and create an account and post more revealing pictures and have those opinions confirmed by strangers. 

I think that, for me, the solution lies somewhere else. That, much like my writing journey, I need to break free from relying on the approval of others and instead, decide for myself what is good and sexy. Figure out which pieces I can teach myself to view in a neutral way and which pieces I can come to admire. Maybe someday I’ll even love some of them.